I am 36 years old and the first born child to my parents. I didn’t stay an only child long, though. My brother was born when I was four, followed by another brother when I was five, and then finally a sister when I was seven.
When I was eight my parents divorced. My mom became a hard-working single mom and full time student. It was during this time that I was molested by a male baby sitter.
During this time I met my best friend who had just gone through a tragic time of losing her mom in a car accident. As we became closer, so did our parents. In March of 1994 her dad and my mom welcomed our precious “baby” sister and shortly after were married.
Our blended family was great for a while until my stepdad’s abusive side came out. He was very volatile. We all walked on eggshells around him, never knowing what kind of mood we’d catch him in. He’d go days being the father I’d always dreamed of (my own dad had moved several states away by this time) to screaming that he hated me and wished I was dead the next day. We never knew what to expect.
Somehow God saw grace to reach out to me during this time and called my heart to His. I accepted Him into my heart when I was 14. It was only God’s peace that got me through this difficult time.
After high school I moved out of state to attend a Bible training center. While there, I met my first husband. We married when I was 18. Four days before our first wedding anniversary we welcomed a son. Shortly after, my husband joined the Air Force.
We enjoyed our first Air Force assignment and while there we welcomed a daughter to our family fours years after our son. After five years in our first assignment we relocated. Life was moving along. We bought a house, got a minivan, and a dog. I thought we had it all. In the summer of 2008 I found out it was a façade when I discovered my husband’s affair.
Our marriage quickly disintegrated into adultery on both sides. Then my husband got orders to another base. We thought it would be a fresh start, but in reality we just packed up our problems and took them with us. I just unloaded mine with a deadly alcohol problem.
It all apexes when I had enough and overdosed into a coma. My husband divorced me and took our children. It has been a struggle to be in their lives ever since.
I almost immediately remarried but quickly divorced. My alcoholism spiraled out of control. Liver and renal failure put me on dialysis for a time. Suicide attempts left me on a respirator more times than I can count. A sexual assault in 2016 took my drinking to a whole new level where I could see no way out.
Again, God stepped in with His great peace. I was led to Titus 2. God has placed some amazing teachers and healers in my path- people to speak life over me, to speak freedom. I have a hope for the future. For someone who has been brought back from the brink of suicide to say she has hope is a testament of God’s healing, restoring power. Since God is so gracious, He doesn’t just give me life, He gives me a restored life with peace and joy!